Emotional Vampires

It is a beautiful morning and you are on top of the world.  You slept the entire night through, snuggled under the covers like a baby.  You dreamt that you were on a secluded Caribbean island; embracing the harmony that comes when man embraces the endless splendor of nature.  A couple of finishing touches with the hairbrush and you will soon be off to one of the greatest days of your life!

Traffic was incredibly light as you navigated the familiar course to the work.  There was an open parking spot available right in front of the massive building.  You smile, thinking to yourself; Alexander the Great had nothing on me, and you prepare to conquer the business world!  There are but a handful of days that are so magnificent during the course of a lifetime, and today is one of them!

Then the truly horrible happens!  Unexpectedly, you see that person out of the corner of your eye.  The fangs are bared and dripping in anticipation.  They have a detached look on their face, and yet their eyes are focused with precision.  You pulse quickens, sweat forms on your forehead, and you instinctively turn your head away.  Perhaps if you pretend that you did not see them, they will merely leave you alone.

“You know, green is not really your color!” a venomous voice hisses out.  “By the way, I talked to the boss about your latest project,” they continue with an acidic tone.  “What a shame you are way over budget and already three days late!”

You feel a sharp pain along the side of your neck.  Things begin to fade into a subtle and numbing darkness, as the room begins to spin.  It is not an unfamiliar sensation.  Once again, you have fallen helpless prey to an emotional vampire!  They have sucked all of the energy and positive feelings out of your now almost limp body.  You know that this attack is not fatal and that eventually you will fully recover.  But what if you are now destined to become one of them?

They are everywhere and their hunting activities are not limited to nighttime either!  We find these leeches in familiar breeding grounds such as our family, friends, and associates.  They can also turn up in packs of total strangers.  They serve only one master; their unquenched thirst for your life force!  Their greatest victory is not to sap your pool of positive strength, but rather to initiate you into their ever-growing fraternity!

The vampire legend is chronicled as far back as prehistoric times.  There was an obscure novel written in 1819 that painted the vampire as a sophisticated and almost appealing character.  However, it was Bram Stoker’s Dracula that set the tone for our impression of the vampire from 1897 onward.  It was in this work that we learned of the mystical powers that can be found within cloves of garlic and the lethal effects of a simple wooden stake.

In my own personal encounters with the emotional vampire, I have been sorely tempted to break out the trusty old wooden stake and my favorite mallet!  My only fear is that by destroying this card-carrying member of the spiritually undead, I will only attract legions of his compatriots.  Besides, who needs the inevitable bad karma that comes with destroying another being?

The only recourse available to any of us is the time-tested way to repel the emotional vampire.  Enter the clove of garlic!  Now unless you share my Mediterranean heritage, the thought of wearing a necklace made up of “stinking rose” bulbs may not hold much appeal.  Besides, you do not want to ward off the entirety of humanity; just those select few who are out to intentionally harm you.

The next time you find yourself at the supermarket of your inner consciousness, pick up a couple of cloves of “spiritual garlic.”  This mystical vegetable is grown year-round and is exceptionally inexpensive!  Our metaphorical garlic is composed of positive self-worth and perpetual kindness.  Worn around the neck, it has a series of devastating effects on the emotional vampire! 

You are once again on top of your game.  Every aspect of your day has been choreographed to bring you nothing but joy and fulfillment.  Then you spot them; a pack of emotional vampires, circling you with mal intent in their glowing eyes.  They unleash a volley of criticisms aimed at your very being.  But your magical garlic tells you that the opinions of others hold no power over you.  Going one step further, you repel each of their attacks with words of kindness!  The sincere compliments that you pay them now have a stunning effect.  Seeing that you will not join their brotherhood, the emotional vampires move on, seeking weaker and unarmed prey!

Should you find yourself in short supply of emotional garlic, just let me know.  I am always happy to share my unending trove!  By the way, I was once infected by emotional vampires.  Now whenever I feel those fangs starting to emerge, I simply remove them and put them in a glass of water on the nightstand!

About Jerry V. Dollar, Author, Humorist, Observer of the Human Condition

When not trekking around the globe, Jerry Dollar can be found in Colorado Springs, CO where he lives with his wife Robbi. Besides an affinity for writing and travel; he is also an avid bodybuilder, a very prolific reader, and an enthusiastic observer of the human condition. Jerry has published two books which are available on: Lulu, Amazon, Kindle, Nook, and IBook. "Announcing a Flight Delay" is a hilarious recap of the author's experiences as a million mile flyer. "A Dollar's Worth" is a collection of observations on the human condition, which originally appeared as blog posts. Dr. Dollar has served in various senior executive management capacities over the past 25 years. He has previously worked within the healthcare, insurance, software, and several other high technology industries. Jerry is recognized for his expertise in creating the foundations for emerging organizations to succeed in complex sales environments. He is also well known for his leadership in guiding technology companies through rapid growth phases. Jerry speaks five languages and has conducted business in over 70 countries on six continents. He holds particular expertise in the Latin American and Western European geographic areas. Dr. Dollar holds a BA in International Affairs, a BA in Spanish, an MBA in Marketing, and a PhD in Organizational Development. He has authored numerous professional articles, various training courses, and has conducted seminars and conferences around the world.
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3 Responses to Emotional Vampires

  1. LediaR says:

    Very nice and well said, Jerry.

  2. Richard Bell says:

    Good article. I’ve been on both sides of the fang. My ‘garlic’ is seeing nice reviews for my ebook and knowing that it can bring laughter to others.
    If you or anyone are interested I can generate a coupon.
    ‘Life Seemed Good, But….’ on Smashwords.

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